Ten Years of You, My Peace and I

In a time when we regularly hear phrases like, “they triggered me” and “I felt really attacked", there seems to be more call than ever for individuals to be equipped for managing their own peace.

Last month was a pretty special one for Mosaic Mediation, as it marked 10 years since its formation. Ten years of developing more tools and techniques, and also ten years of watching trends occur within the mediation world.

I remember attending networking meetings as a ‘mediator’ when I first became accredited almost always raised the foundational question about what ‘mediation’ actually was. Whereas, most people are now aware of the vague concept – and may have participated in mediation for marital or parenting disputes – but what it means in reality still requires explanation. Especially, in how it applies to workplace disputes.

I have also noticed a big change in how people describe their feelings and perceive the situation. When most initial pre-mediation calls would previously involve describing the events and their goals, the pre-mediation calls these days are much more focused on the individual describing their feelings and the impact of the situation on their mental health. Often, the terms used by individuals would, ten years ago, only have been discussed following some foundation training in psychology.

I don’t point out this change with cynicism, but rather an acknowledgement of how people are viewing and experiencing conflict differently these days – which, naturally then, requires mediators to be more knowledgeable of mental health, ‘therapeutic terms’ and neurodiversity. (Something that has become an essential element of my own self-development.)

It is not just personal insight from mediation conversations that leads me to believe this, as the evidence clearly demonstrates this change. In the CIPD’s ‘Health and Wellbeing at Work' report (2025), findings show that ‘mental ill health’ is the second in the top three causes of short-term absence and is the primary cause of long-term absence. ‘Stress’ is only slightly behind, as the 4^th most common cause for both categories. Perhaps in response to this, 63% of the organisations surveyed reported training managers in managing staff with mental ill health.

And, surprise, surprise… What did employees say was the primary driver for a negative impact on their mental health? Poor relationships with colleagues (75%). A statistic which only backs up my belief that a robust and realistic conflict management approach is necessary for any organisation that wants to support the wellbeing of their team.

There is clearly much work to still be done in supporting organisations with conflict management strategies and conflict resolution services. With mediators also needing to be more greatly aware and knowledgeable about mental ill health – both in terms of deeper understanding and use of language around it.

One outcome that I hope for the most when I have been brought in to support with a conflict situation is improved wellbeing. No one can force another person to change their mindset or behaviour, but the process of mediation can help each individual consider the situation, realise the options available to them to self-manage, and techniques to increase their confidence and sense of peace.

Almost every workplace conflict situation has impacted the quality of sleep and mental health of one or both parties. And, even if the relationship is only slightly improved by the end of the process, the vast majority of parties feedback that their sleep and wellbeing has been positively impacted by going through the process. So, mental ill health is not a reason NOT to mediate, as mediation may be the thing that helps them most.

Yes, as mediators, we talk a lot about wanting peaceful relationships between people. Yet, what we know really makes the difference to people is that an individual’s inner peace remains, regardless of what other people choose to do. And, when people start from that position while navigating conflict, a peaceful relationship is more likely to be the outcome anyway.

In my experience, those whose peace is dependent on the actions of others are much more likely to get offended, react defensively, communicate unclearly, and find it more challenging to problem-solve or take accountability for their contribution.

Having this insight into human behaviour over the last ten years has been a privilege and it has also been incredibly useful to recognise such patterns for my own growth and development. It gives me a greater motivation to not take things personally and to choose my behaviour based on what seems like the right thing to do, rather than what others do or say first (or in response).

Essentially, although “as far as it depends on [me]” I try to live at peace with others, the last ten years has made it so clear to me that to have genuinely peaceful relationships my sense of peace cannot depend on what they do.

Emma Jenkings is an experienced and accredited workplace mediator, SEND mediator, conflict coach, Peaceful Leadership coach, mental health first aider, mediator mentor, and DISC practitioner. Emma founded Mosaic Mediation to support and equip individuals and organisations with the training and techniques to improve relationships at work and beyond.

If you are aware of a situation that could benefit from specialist input, do get in touch via the ‘Contact’ page or by emailing: enquiries@mosaicmediation.co.uk .