What a Difference a Day Makes

It seems almost extraordinary to suggest that one day could improve a situation, if a colleague dispute has been going on for months or years. Just one day.

When someone enquiries about workplace mediation, we discuss both the situation and what to expect from the process, including the anticipated timing suggested for the mediated conversation. There are three typical responses that have become standard if my recommendation is for one working day of mediation:

a)     “Oh, wow. Are you sure we will need a whole day?!”

b)     “Yes, that is fine.”

c)     “Do you think one day is enough?”

When I am speaking to those who consider a day to be longer than necessary, I find it helpful to ascertain what their expectations of the day are. Typically, this response regarding the timescales often results from having a picture in their mind of remaining with the other person at one table (or videocall virtual room) from 9am until 5pm.

Mediation is a flexible process, which means that the number or duration of individual meetings or joint meetings will be determined by the mediator – and with the agreement of the parties - depending on what is most likely to benefit the parties.

Sometimes people are surprised by the commonly recommended ‘one working day’ timeframe because of their experience of other forms of mediation. Of all the varieties, workplace mediation is primarily the one that requires a full day for most situations. For example, in comparison, I know from also facilitating SEND (Special Educational Needs and Disabilities) mediation, this type of mediated conversation works well in only two hours.

From the over nine years’ experience as a workplace mediator now, I can assure you that one day of mediation for workplace disputes flies by! Even with the initial conversations happening in the days before the joint mediation session, there is a flow to the mediation process that takes time. Each conversation and the focus for that conversation is purposeful.

Why does workplace mediation require a day?

At its core, mediation is simply a conversation that is facilitated by a neutral, third party. Mediation skills are largely similar, across the specialisms. Yet, the nuances in terms of the process are influenced by the differences in the types of issues being discussed – and the aims of the parties.

• In SEND mediation, there tends to be one element being discussed and the documentation which may support the positions of the parties are typically seen ahead of time. So, the shorter time is adequate.
• In community or family mediation, the sessions may be shorter but there may perhaps be more than one – including more separate conversations before the joint session.
• Civil and commercial mediation time allocations are very much dependent on the complexity level of the case. If the matter is largely transactional, then the focus may be more about negotiation than relationships.
• Workplace mediation tends to have several layers to it, which take time to unpick and then move forward from. Trust is at the centre of every mediation, of course. However, there is something around trust that is quite specific to the nature of workplace dispute resolution.

Perhaps, it is because the mediation is not just about resolving what happened but also having conversations and self-reflective moments than provide the opportunity for a working relationship in future.

It is also far too commonplace for a workplace mediation to be left as the ‘final resort’ after months or years of tension or frustration (or worse) – by which time, it understandably takes much longer for people to move from being focused on their positions and rights, to understanding and appreciating the other person’s needs and interests.

It takes time to process what happened, process what the other person has shared about their experience and perspective, and then to consider what to do next.

In fact, I would say that one day is generally not enough to turn things around and have total resolution of relationship issues.

Firstly, mediation is not just about the joint conversation. There are two other incredibly necessary and purposeful stages – the pre-mediation work and the follow-up work. It may be that one pre-mediation call per party is sufficient to prepare an individual for mediation, but it is increasingly common for mediators to recommend additional time (including conflict coaching or DISC profiling tools). This additional time may be used to support individuals who have neurodiversity or mental health challenges. Or the pre-mediation support may be focused on mindset work in readiness for the mediated conversation.

Similarly, follow-up calls are standard for any workplace mediation – typically taking place 4-6 weeks after the mediated conversation, to see how things have settled and whether any additional support is appropriate. However, additional calls may be beneficial in terms of the interpersonal conflict, or to further work with one of the parties – to increase interpersonal skills or support how they move on from the situation.

Secondly, the mediator is there to facilitate the conversations and guide the parties through the process. The mediator role is not to fix the issues for the parties. This is probably the toughest element of being a mediator – letting go of feeling responsible for what people do next after they leave the mediation.

So, there is work to be done by the parties after the day of mediation. They will likely have agreed to some actions to embed the progress that began at the mediation, and following through on those will be a vital part of improving a situation in the long-term. There is also mindset work to be done, aside from practical tasks or changes in behaviour.

For trust to be built, it requires the parties to ‘extend trust’ by giving the other person the benefit of the doubt. They will each have likely developed habits around what they think of the other – making assumptions about their intentions in a negative light perhaps.

Though this is all discussed during the mediation, individuals may need a reminder at the follow-up call – that it is still their responsibility to follow-through on what they agreed, be open-minded to change, and contribute to making improvements possible. Long-term change takes more than the one day of mediation – even including the pre-mediation and follow-up work. (See – blog article ‘Put it in the past’)

Finally, I will often say that ‘no conflict is an island’. There are often multiple factors at play with a workplace mediation – even more so, if the situation involves multiple people. On several occasions, I have facilitated mediation processes for organisations that involve several stages, perhaps with different people at each stage. The flexibility of mediation enables an approach which is cognisant of the key people and various factors that have influenced the situation and will then play a part in how the situation is improved.

Day by Day

In conclusion, one day can make an incredible difference! But it is not the only element that matters. Mediation offers a psychologically ‘safe’ place to discuss difficult issues and provide a foundation for moving forward. Let us all remember though that it is best to be seen as a ‘reset’ rather than the completion of conflict resolution. The pre-mediation work, the day of mediation, and the follow-up calls are each purposeful stages of the process.

Long-term conflict resolution works best when individuals build on what was accomplished during those stages, embedding what they have learned about themselves and the other individuals, and committing to peace-making, trust-building behaviours.

Get in touch with Mosaic Mediation to discuss your workplace relationships and explore whether  coaching,  training, or  mediation (or a combined approach) would be suitable for your situation.  Emma Jenkings, founder of Mosaic Mediation, is an accredited workplace mediator, SEND mediator, DISC practitioner, conflict coach, mediator mentor, and interpersonal skills trainer. Enquire by emailing  enquiries@mosaicmediation.co.uk or going to the  ‘Contact’ page.